hubby doesn't want to keep the baby :( - March 2025 Babies | Forums | What to Expect (2024)

I have no words momma. I’m so sorry you are in this situation having to make this decision.

Maybe talk to him again - think about how this will impact your relationship in the future. Will you resent him? Why doesn’t he want a third, you already have two.

ok, first off, maybe he needs gentle reminding that he is fertile every second of every day (100% of the time), while you are fertile literally for one day per month (3% of the time). He cannot pin this all on you. If he felt that strongly about not having another he should not have agreed to unprotected sex at all, ever. Guys seem to think we have control over when we ovulate. We don’t. Sometimes we get good at reading the signs, but our bodies do what they want and sometimes they throw curveballs. It’s no more your fault than his. Period.

Secondly, don’t let him coerce you into doing something you don’t want to do. You’re worried about your relationship, but play it out both ways. You keep the baby, he’s a whiny & angry little boy for the next 9 months (iv been there) but then may have a change of heart once he sees his child, or not and your marriage falls apart but you keep the baby you wanted and he has to pay child support. OR you let him coerce you into aborting a baby that you want and you resent him for it indefinitely and your marriage will be unhappy still if not fall apart. He wants the fun without the responsibility (like so so many men, mine included), but that’s not life. Just because he decided he made a mistake doesn’t mean you have “fix it” for him. You get a say. And if you want this baby but abort it anyway, it won’t end there.

This is a tough place to be in. My husband has freaked out every time we have a baby and it’s so hard to deal with. And it’s irritating to no end because we are the ones who do everything anyway! Whose body undergoes unimaginable changes, sickness, squeezes a watermelon out of a hole that’s much too small or gets cut open, who is up with the sick kids and crying baby all night? I don’t know about you but that’s all me. What does this really change for the man? It comes down to getting used to one more person in the house for him. The only thing that gets me through is knowing he will eventually get to know and appreciate the new little one. For us it doesn’t always happen right away, but it does eventually.

If it’s financial issues there are ways you can manage even in this economy! After you’ve had one kid the cost for more doesn’t really change a whole lot. Just remember babies don’t need a whole lot despite what social media tells you! We are currently in a tight financial position. Me and my husband both work from home in a tiny 2 bedroom townhome with a toddler and one on the way. We currently don’t have a dining room and we are going to be even more strapped for space once this baby arrives so we are literally doing the bare minimum and probably won’t even buy a crib for as long as possible��‍��

If you are able you can breastfeed and or pump to save money on formula. Many find it gross but it’s so a huge money saver to do washable diapers rather than throw away. It saves SO much money and they grow with the baby. Find a Facebook Page for your area where people give away free stuff instead of taking it to goodwill. This has become very popular since covid. When we had our son we couldn’t afford anything for Christmas and we got ALL of our Christmas decor/tree for free from those pages. You can also second hand everything you need. There is no shame in it and you can often find great quality items. People are always give away totes of baby clothes for next to nothing!

This sounds like a tough situation and it’s honestly so selfish of your husband to put you in that situation… accidents happen and it’s not fully on you. It takes two. He needs to take responsibility and do what he can to get a new job if that’s where his hesitation is. Your family needs money to survive whether you have a third child or not so it doesn’t really change a whole lot. This may be very poor financial advice lol but if it comes down to it medical bills fall off your credit after 2 years so if just absolutely can’t afford to pay the hospital bills it wont hurt you long term like it used to. you gotta do what you gotta do for your family. There are families living in poverty still doing what they need to do to survive. Yall will be okay!

I understand not wanting another kid due to financials but there is always a way! i think this just calls for a sit down & explaining how you feel about the situation & how you know it would effect you & your relationship if you went through with an abortion.

I also find it a bit unfair for him to not want to have sex because he doesnt want to get you pregnant, but then agrees to finish inside of you. whether he asks if you are SURE or not, there is ALWAYS that possibility! so that rubs me the wrong the way... he took the risk when there is never a true way of EVER knowing if you are going to end up pregnant. also refusing to use condoms but not wanting a kid is super contradicting!

Its a tough situation & i am sorry you are going through this.

I’m so sorry you have to deal with this.

I would 100000% rather lose my husband than terminate my baby that I wanted. I’ve lost 3 babies I desperately wanted due to miscarriages and I would be furious if anyone told me to get rid of my baby I wanted.

You will end up hating him if you go through it. Your life may fall apart keeping it, but at least you won’t have to live with yourself and the decision you made knowing you didn’t want it.

I know it’s easy for all of us to say what to do, so I really wish you the best in whatever you decide ❤️ I can’t imagine.

Dang. My heart hurts for you.

First of all, he is absolutely as much to blame as you are. This is weaponized incompetence. He is just as responsible for preventing a baby as you are. Asking you if it’s okay is ridiculous- he can learn this information in a 30 min or less google search.

If he didn’t want another baby, agreeing to cum inside you was irresponsible, and as adults we have to suffer the consequences of our actions. Sorry, maybe this isn’t helpful but ***, I’m so sick of big man babies.

You are in an impossible position. If it were me, there’s no way I could abort a healthy baby while in your position. Married, having sex in a consenting manner. If my husband resented me for not killing my baby he had half part in making, well that is what it is. I’m so sorry you are in this position.